(Segun Amao)
"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep."
1 Thessalonianans 4: 13-14
The times are changin'
The times are continually changin'
We are waiting
Lost in its ambiguity
Waiting for clarity
Seeking clues
In the infinity of Space?
Quantum consciousness?
Lost lost lost
Your little one innocently asks:
'Is my daddy on the phone?'
18/09/2016
No Redemption
As the weather wanes
The flowers wilts
The leaves dry & crunch
The branches naked
And grass browned
In the approach of cold winter
Their redemption comes with spring
But where, where is my redemption?
Must I wait until all is done?
Do I live in this despondent helplessness?
As the world moves on
From this abyss
We are stuck to this unchanging reality
In a cesspit of loss
Time stops & run
In this paradox of anguish & agony
That sound you hear
Is the primal scream of a mother languishing and wrenching
Looking for redemption
The lashing out in all direction
Is the cry of a mother
Confined to the pain of a permanent loss
Perhaps you may not understand it
It is a lane laid out for those that have no further choices
The die is cast beyond redemption
iacta alea est
May the day come.
Femi, 15/11/18
Talkin’ politics again
Dear brother,
You won't be surprised. The world you left has not changed much. (But your people are changed because you left). This time, I return to our favourite past time, that has replayed in my mind countless time. Talking the foibles of politics and making light of the illogicality that it entails. The best example, if any is needed, of the flawed nature of humans.
What has happened so far this year (2016), you would find difficulty to believe. Remember the days back home when as children we were left confused why our friends, neighbours and school mates were ordered to leave the country? The days of 'Ghana must go?' When the woes of the country were blamed on these outsiders mostly eking a leaving in menial jobs. Well it is gradually playing out in the erstwhile bastions of civilisation. Where civilisation and civility is now cast as ‘political correctness’ that must be dispensed with.
You would be glad to know that here, we did the little we could, travelling long distance, your little niece and nephew in tow, in pouring rain, twisting my ankle in the process to cast our votes for the love of our friends, colleagues and neighbours scared & feeling exposed because of 'fear' by people who look like them. We were on the losing side but as you always say, at the end of the day, all will be well.
Your beloved America is not fearing much better. They are taking back America from some other Americans with a viciousness and a tone that is unbelievably sad. Love is in the air through rabid hatred. A wall will be built to fence off other humans in the name of love. And in this Dystopian reality, Trump, is the unlikely ‘God’ instrument to deliver paradise. But as you know, ironically, his moral compass is not one that any parent would want to expose their kids. Maybe morals are no longer relevant as our faith(s) transforms and societies metamorphose in this endgame.
In a strange twist, even the Royal family is affected by the increasing racial tensions because Prince Harry has got a mixed race American girlfriend!
I am not overly worried about these events. As we always acknowledge, our story, our future is not in human hand. In the little time that we have here, may we live with it with dignity in the understanding that nothing endures in this life.
This is where we are, just thought to let you know. But perhaps you already know but it is nice to talk as we always do. We are all as well as we could.
May the day come.
Femi 15/11/2016
Reborn
I see you
I see you getting well again
I see you
I see you walking again
I see you, soul brother
I see you getting back again
In the wee hours
I see you you pristine
I see you and will see you again
After I shed this weight
To travel at the speed of light
Just like you.
Here things are always changing
I shall see you there
Where all change come to rest.
Femi, Nov. 15
Residents of the Twilight Zone
(To my brother, Segun & a soldier called Etienne)
Your pain calls to mine
I cry for yours & mine
In this battle we lost
In the field & at home
The tears, tiny symptoms
In this ocean of pain
When daybreak announces your loss
And sunset teases you endlessly with infinity
Hating the sunrise, praying for dusk and its darkness
Your curse is the honour: Gold star mommy?
The door becomes a synonym for the Sky
As the heart dies by the minute
Love & pain indescribable
Pain that makes you forget to breathe
Fellow permanent resident in the Twilight Zone of life
And before the throne of Grace
For you and for me
Raging at the snuffling of the lights
I take a knee.
Mother, even this, shall pass.
Femi, 13/11/17
13/11/17
I counted the days gained
And bless Him for grace
I note the days lost
And look forward to His infinity
May the day come.
Femi 18/09/17
Missing you always…..
Again, that day has returned, marking the 4th year of your journey of no return to eternity. A painful day it was and it has remained.
You have thought me a lot even in your sickness and your untimely death. I have learnt to be strong and take care of others even when I am in pain and infirm.
I have learnt that there no immortal among us and therefore with each breaking of another day, I give all glory to God. That dreadful time may just be around the corner….
I have always kept your words and carry the fond memories we shared around with me since your departure. Sometimes I laugh from our conversations, much to the bewilderment of those around me…
That you are missed is an understatement, Segun, but I am very comforted yours is an everlastingly peaceful sleep.
Continue to rest in peace, my friend and brother. I love you but God loves you more.
Olukayode Onasanya (Kay) 11/15/2016.
A letter to you!
Sege,
It has been 5 full years now since the cold hands of death snatched you away from us....
But not a single day has passed, without a thought of you my dear friend. I speak of you to any ear with enough care to listen. I tell my patients with rough situations, the story of your courage even in the face of the unforgiven brain tumor.
Your friendship was a blessing to me in any way imagined! You have taught me a lot in life and in death...yes, you have, Segun.
Your indelible memory, I have affixed high on the inner walls of my heart, where the turbulence of blood flow can never reach.
You are fondly remembered today and always!
Rest on my dear brother...till me meet again!
Love always!Kayode, 11/15/2017.
The Buck Stops Here
Here, the buck of agony stop
This wound is personal
And I have to carry this burden
Into eternity
A burden so precious and so painful
The angst is all that remains
In place of a miracle that was
Listen carefully
And you may hear the howling call of my heart
Like a wolf when her alpha is gone
Baying and yowling at the sight of the moon
And it’s elements in the eternal mystery of space
Grasping at fleeting thoughts
In this prison of passion
A prisoner
Of the soul
Bearing a burden that cannot be shared
In a crowd, alone
I am a perpetual beggar
Pleading for the impossible
Staring at the stoic sky
Begging for mercy
I could be the homeless man
Dying at the door of No 10
I could be a child, shot at school
In Parkland, Florida
A refugee, seeking mercy
Or a child in Yemen, waiting for the next bomb to strike
Or hunger stricken child, somewhere in the dust of Africa
It all becomes a degree of pain
If you may
Take a knee with me
Before the throne of grace
May the day come.
Femi, 15/11/18
Eunice & Esther
To the niece that will not grow old
To the mother that departed before midlife
To the heart that is breaking in the face of multiple losses
To the son that will grow without a mother & a sister
To life that happens in the shadow of deaths.
Grace & peace.
Femi, 06/01/19
Sege,
Another year has passed since you were taken away from us prematurely,6 full years it has been in total…...6 years…. seem just like yesterday.
Your brilliant smiles never cease to lighten my moods when I am down.
Your words of encouragement and wisdom, I hear always….It has never been the same and it won’t ever be the same…ever again.
That I miss you is an understatement, my dear friend.
Continue to rest in peace Segun, till we meet to part no more….
Olukayode November 2018.
Copyright 2012 Olusegun L Amao, MD, FACP. All rights reserved.